Writing Exercise 054

The Dead Pete Society decided to write Christmas stories about Santa and the reindeer. Except we joked about Rudolph being a crack-nosed pimp, Santa being the horny bodyguard and the other reindeer being hoes. You can imagine how absurd and funny the conversation was! XD
Anyway, every member of the Dead Pete Society picked two of them and committed to write a story. My choice were Santa and Dunder. So prepare for a very different Christmas five times drabble. :o

2015/12/22 – Christmas story about Dunder, the hoe, and Santa, the bodyguard, for the Dead Pete Society (5 x Drabble)

It was Christmas time and like every other year the show was about to start. Santa, the nitwitted bodyguard, readied the sleigh, with which pimp Rudolph paraded his eight hoes around the world. Dunder was one of them. He was the heaviest of the lot and wagged his meaty butt as he scurried after the others. Santa, being also on the heavier side, was ogling him again and as Dunder passed him he couldn't resist and slapped him on the back.

„Ho-ho-hoe,“ he stuttered and grinned like an idiot. He hardly said anything else, but with this intonation it meant he was horny as a unicorn.

„Not when I'm at work,“ he whispered back and shot a quick glance to the front, while Rudolph sniffed his red nose and handed out the straps. Dunder waddled into line and took his place beside Blitzen. Nervously he licked his lips and tried to fasten the XL garter belts he was supposed to wear to his costume bra and fancy panties.

Santa came to check on them and when he reached Dunder he took his time to squeeze his feisty butt again. „Ho-ho-hoe,“ he let out happily while Dunder only harrumphed and rolled his eyes. It was always the same with him.

He just couldn't keep his hands to himself when they were readying themselves for the show. That was the problem with a man only coming once a year; his bag was loaded to the brim and once the world tour was done and all the candy sticks were distributed Santa would sneak into the ladies' stables and hump every butt that stood erect. Especially Dunder's if he was not with a punter.

Because Dunder was like his name - dumb. And dumb people were good fucks, they say. At least Santa was of that opinion, and since he wasn't the brightest light himself they made quite a pair. Secretly of course, for the pimp would surely charge their bodyguard if he knew Santa was dicking around the stables.

So Dunder now shooed Santa away, who grunted and sat inside the sleigh. „Ho-ho-hoe,“ he counted and guarded the bag with the toys. Like every other year he then was allowed to crack the whip and the ladies stalked ahead, heads held high and flaunting their cleavages and butts to the clients all over the world.

As they were getting into the mood Santa grinned and waved dumbly at the people salivating after the eight hoes. „Ho-ho-hoe,“ he advertised and Rudolph approved of his work. Dunder in the meantime was doing his dance in sync with the others. Sometimes he imagined they were doing the samba at carnival in Rio when they paraded and so he shook his ass extra sexily; the crowds loved it. So from town to town they toured and beneath the cracking of Santa's whip Dunder jingled all the bells he had. It was as thrilling as it was arousing. But this was their way of saying „Merry Christmas!“